Older, Wiser & Freer

The change 6 Powerful Steps

Following a date with my faithful and constant companion, otherwise known as a camera.  Visiting what started its life many years ago as a weekend retreat I am able to share with you this image.

I was drawn to take a photograph of the American Slave Statue because for a brief moment it prompted a memory of the restrictions forced on me by society as a young girl.

“Girls are seen and not heard” and “girls should only speak when spoken to” are recorded and replayed over and over loudly, ringing in my ears like church bells with full force to make sure I’m listening and giving these statements my full attention.

Each word doing a great job of making sure I conform and remain obedient to the expectations of what it means to be

a good daughter,

a good employee,

a good wife,

a good mother etc – Quiet, invisible, non-confronting and voiceless.



The ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ showed up unannounced with way too much to say for herself and demanding to do what the hell she likes, whenever she likes.

Crazy creative things like doodling, painting, personal development workshops, day dreaming, meeting old and new friends for lunch, nurturing plants, long woodland walks, reading for hours on end and writing crap about crap and thoroughly enjoying it all.

Yes, I know, how dare she!

freedom is a positive symptom of the change

and one I value highly.

The hand chains also reminded me of my own mental chains that kept me from living a life without fear or imposed limits.

Every negative thought an untruth and yet for the first 50 years of my life I believed these lies wholeheartedly and as if my life depended upon it.

Suddenly, out of nowhere and without warning, my worldview changed.

The landscape of my life became a foreign land, my ‘norms’ both imposed and imagined started to make me feel pinned down.

Breathless and gasping.

That’s when I decided to stop fighting to hang on to what has now passed (my old life…the younger me) and embrace the new road ahead.

To step into the power of what some enlightened women call the Crone (the Crone is a symbol of wisdom; a wise and confident spirit).

Hello and welcome to the older, wiser and freer me.

Reflecting upon this image now, makes me feel small minded and selfish because the American Slave was lawfully denied, restricted and abused in the most inhumane way.

I imagine her most dominant thoughts were about freedom and her every day experience lived in REAL stomach churning fear.

My first experience of oppression now feels inconsequential and petty.

And sharing my original thoughts, exteremly inadequate in comparison to the narrative of the American Slave.

But getting back to the point of this post (my heart heavy with sadness from the realisation that women around the world are still being treated very badly and going through unimaginable suffering).

It’s so important to liberate ourselves from all those things that hold us back and shake off the fake shackles for good as well as welcome the changes ahead with open arms.

Hands up,

all women who no longer want to be chained up or held down by the expectations and standards of others. In the next stage of our life, lets sing and dance all the way to the end in true [insert your name] style.

Demonstrating that its okay to be a ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ and rock out your own ‘Style’ in any way you choose.



Care to share! we love to hear about your experiences.



22 thoughts on “Older, Wiser & Freer

  1. Omg! My thing lately is — you are not going to boss me
    around. I can think for myself and i can do what i want when i want — And i used to be so quiet.

    1. Hi Chrissy, I used to be quiet too until the crazy cat lady (wise, confident crone) burst on to the scene. Now, I find it hard to keep quiet particularly when I see so much inequality, unfairness, waste, greed & violence in the world.

  2. That’s a thought provoking blog. I dusted off those chains several years ago but just occasionally find myself falling back into the expectations of others. Thanks for deciding to follow my blog.

    1. Not following the expectations of others can be a difficult one, its what we have been conditioned to do most of our lives. I thought I had started following you a few weeks ago, so glad I checked again.

  3. My hands are up! This is so beautiful. I think you’re experience, even though different from that of a slave girl’s, is still a valuable one and very relatable for people. Our society has grown in many ways from it’s sexist roots, but we still have a long way to go. Like you said, many societies all over the world are still in great danger as they oppress the strongest and smartest members of their community- women!…us! Thank you for reminding me that this is something we have to support each other in growing from and stand together as a way to seek faster change.

  4. Lovely post. You sound just like me. I am a crazy cat lady going through the Perimenopause from hell and who has just taken up photography. For me, Peri keeps me from being me, keeps me chained to my house because I daren’t leave the house when I’m bleeding, or maniacally not staying in when I’m not bleeding because I don’t know how long that will last and I have to make the most of it.

    1. Hi Vanessa, thank you for taking the time to comment. I love hearing about the adventures of other women on this strange journey. So far there have been many stories I can relate to which has been reassuring for me. Nothing prepares you for the road ahead and premenopause certainly presents us with challenges we had not considered until they are banging at our door, demanding our attention. Good luck with photography, its a great way to channel all that extra creativity we experience during this time too.

  5. Great post! I loved the way you made it both personal AND political, plus zoomed out to slavery, well done. What am I doing to embrace the Change? Similar to you: casting off chains, & doing lots of online dating haha. Cheers from Australia, G (I really do think you’d enjoy my blog too)

  6. Thank you so much Deborah. Beautiful and creative post. I’m going to a women’s leadership class as a support to step into my own wisdom, creativity, and joyful expression. You are awesome. 😊 Glad to know you, Deborah. Blessings, Debbie

      1. You got it 💙 I’m leading this particular peace gathering, and a colleague is doing a peace walk! Also I’ll be starting an online support class soon ‘Making Peace With Yourself’. 💖 So important to let go of self judgment. Many, many blessings to you -and so glad to connect with you. -Debbie

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