The Change

 “Now I really appreciate my maturity as a woman. My depth of spirit and soul and my understanding of who I am and what’s important to me” – Elle Macpherson (52)

This change of life malarkey has got me into some deep thinking about who I am and what am I here for! I have been on a bit of a self-discovering journey lately and the further I travel along the lands of adventure, the more I enjoy my wayward trek into the unknown.

It’s turning into the tale of the good, the bad and the ugly.

So far, I have been down the path of awakening, shock and bewilderment.

When did I get so old?


When? And how did that happen?

The Good

Aside from all the physical changes forced on me, it’s the internal changes that have me questioning just about every area of my life. The spiritual part of me begs for attention similar to the way a toddler pleads for their favorite toy and it’s nowhere to be found. Only louder and with a lot more whining and wailing! Both unable to accept the words no, not now or later.


[Pre]menopause, so far has been a bit of a game changer in every sense of the word. I am literally changing from the inside out. I see things differently, I feel things differently and I am much more in tune with my happy vibe.

The Bad

As I navigate my way through this strange thing called [pre]menopause, I have chosen the name “Crazy Cat Lady” (with some thought, I’m sure I could come up with a better name but I’m sticking with it for now) to describe my nonsensical and rebellious side.

By the way I don’t own cats of any kind and have no plans to either.


No offense to all the [real] Crazy Cat Lady’s out there, this is just my way of discussing the subject in a light-hearted humorous way (more for my own amusement but there is a genuine need for me to process some of what’s happening both internally and externally). I hope by sharing her victories, temporary roadblocks and setbacks this will help other women who find themselves exploring new territory on the [pre]menopause path.

The Ugly

My ‘Crazy Cat Lady’ moments make me smile and laugh out loud on a good day and shake my head in total disbelief on a not-so-good day.

These moments are usually when I do something ‘Deborah’ style. Following many conversations and the occasional colourful and carefully worded debate on alternative methods of approaching Menopause. I have my daughter Kristie to thank for pointing out to me that I do indeed have a style of my own.

For example, ignoring directions to a known conventional route in search of undiscovered roads and highways and writing about my experiences during the change of life. This has the potential to get very messy (ugly) at different stages because I have no idea where my [pre]menopause adventure will take me next.

To climb the blue mountains of thinning hair?

Explore the volcanic islands of memory loss?

Swim the great lakes of hot flushes?

More information on [pre]menopause


Please post your comment below.

Care to share! we love to hear about your experiences.


44 thoughts on “The Change

    1. Yep, sounds like a hormone imbalance, you might need to visit a GP for HRT lol or find something purposeful to fill the void and live in truth to who we really are. A medical view and a more spiritual view of menopause, your choice.

      1. I am a typical spiritual seeker and still searching for that one ‘thing’ to fill the void. A coach I worked with a few years ago used to talk a lot about “Know Thy Self” which was helpful in moving me forward. At the beginning of ‘the change’ I worked with a mentor who also was helpful in identifying what my next steps should be. In my experience working with others helps to validate and clarify things about ourselves and our life path. Retreats are also very good for working on the ego but you have experience of this already. I recently (today) came across Jo from which was interesting and worth considering.

      2. I tend to disagree with people due to being a bit of an outlier when it comes to personality traits and so a mentor might not be the best step for me. Having said that, there is some good material on Jo’s site ( Thanks for this information and advice – I appreciate it.
        Kindness – Robert.

    1. It’s very reassuring when other women think the same way about the experience of menopause as I do. Some days I feel like a lone wolf. Thank you for taking the time to comment, I appreciate you stopping by & hope this post was helpful too.

  1. My thoughts on menopause? It’s hell. I always used to think my wife was … how shall I put it – a tad unreasonable at times, but now I know that I was living in a paradise! Roll on post-hotflushland! 🙂
    (Totally joking – menopause it a lovely opportunity to explore some of the more fascinating aspects of human nature. Honest!)
    Kindness – Robert.

    1. Lol, this had me howling, I’m loving your sense of humour. You’re spot on there when you said it’s an opportunity to…..

      The menopause opens many doors but we’re too busy hiding the keys – Pretending it’s not happening while secretly hoping it will go away before anyone notices. Or maybe that’s just me.

      On a serious note, talking about the change & sharing stories is one way of making menopause more acceptable and goes along way in normalising the experience.

      Thank you for your comments Robert.

      1. You totally hit the nail on the head there when you talked of normalising the experience. There are so many things in life that we dare not even talk about in our own heads, much less to other people – and this is to our detriment. I applaud your strength and courage. One day, I’ll be there too. 🙂
        Kindness – Robert.

  2. Deborah, this is a beautiful post. I so appreciate the service you give to women with your sharing! What a gift.

    I do an online group of women called ‘making peace with myself’. For me personally, looking at my own experiences having a women’s expression. 💖

    Have a great weekend, and thank you again. You made me smile so much!! Blessings on your journey 😊😊 Debbie

      1. Aw Debbie, thats so kind of you. I try to do my best and help others where I can. I will keep your online group in mind for the future, sounds interesting.

        Wishing you a fab weekend Debbie 💖 Deborah

  3. Hitting the age for menopause is what made me start my blog – which you’ve just followed thank you! At 50 I decided to start something new and give myself a challenge. And I LOVE it! I don’t get too wrapped up in all the technical stuff, I just get on with enjoying it. Midlife should be embraced as a new adventure; one that I certainly intend to get the most out of and enjoy! 🙂 PS I do have cats…and I am crazy lol!

  4. Thank you for stopping by my blog so that I in turn found yours! My menopause days were long ago but my daughter is hitting that stage of life and shares her thoughts with me. It is rough but there is life on the other side. I too see that even one’s attitude will change. All the best to you. P.S. My daughter could be the Cat Lady as she has four cats.

    1. Thank you, your daughter is very lucky to have you to supporter her. I believe talking about it helps, particular with women who have transitioned. Love the name of your blog, it’s what drew me to read more

  5. I’ll send you a cat as an email attachment. Please check your spam folder in case it gets sent there, because it will be ready to eat and shown where the litter box is. No need to get it a bed–it’ll sleep on yours.

  6. I had 8 years of intense and frequent hot flashes and rejoiced in every single one! Having suffered 40 years of debilitating menstrual cycles I was eager to know the end was in sight … best thing that ever happened to me. So liberating to know the fertile years were over. The mind and hormones settle down and spirituality becomes a higher priority. Don’t fight it listen to the whining ….

    1. I love this Kate, knowing some of us become more spiritually aware at this time gives me comfort. I look forward to a calm and peaceful mind and the end of the hormonal Big Dipper. Thank you for sharing your experience.

      1. I do believe that this is a topic that should be more widely and openly discussed to dispel the many myths. I pray everyone experiences a similar sense of liberation and freedom that I did/do! Something better is coming ..

  7. What a great idea for a blog! I wish I had one to read while I was going through it. I am (finally) on the other side, but I must admit, it was harder than I expected. I had more of the ugly than I was prepared for! My wonderful gyn helped me, and girlfriends talked it through me with them as we all went through it. Keep up with this great blog!!

    1. Thank you for your support. I feel so lucky to have connected with other women going through it or reached the other side. The support from the blogging community has blown me away and I feel better equipped to deal with the ugly side of pre menopause

  8. I lived through it. Mine wasn’t too bad and I went it through early – 45. I had a few hot flashes and hated them. They always seem to come at the most inopportune times. I am glad it’s over – whew!

    1. Hot flashes/flushes can be annoying and I will be relieved when its all over too. I’m so looking forward to the day when I can look back and say to myself with a huge smile on my face “I got through it and did it my way”.

  9. I am personally relieved to know you don’t even own a cat (I do like my cats… out in the barn). Great title for a (pre) menopausal woman. I’m there too, in the middle of heat waves and the middle of rooms wondering what I came here for!

  10. “The good, the bad and the ugly” I love it!
    What a great way of describing this journey so many of us are (have or will be) taking!
    It’s scary, but it’s nice to know we are not alone, Misery loves company! lol
    I am only just starting this long walk/adventure and already I feel i’m heading to the “beach of indecision” where when I make a decision it it doesn’t stay, it rolls back of into the deep and a new choice is lapping at my feet!
    Stupid Menopause!!!

    P.S. I love “crazy cat lady” 🙂

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