To Dye Or Not To Dye

To embrace [pre]menopause wholeheartedly and mark my acceptance of the transition from maidenhood (those years before middle age and menopause) I decided to stop dyeing my once dark curly hair and let it grow gray naturally.


For months now, I have managed to stick it out. Honestly though, I am ready to cave in at any moment. My two-toned (which is actually three not two) hairstyle resembles a dried out, old toilet brush dipped in silver, yellow and copper paint!

The ‘crazy cat lady’ swings back and forth from,

don’t do it, you’ll regret it (no dye)


Please……for goodness sake just do it (dye)

My daily mantra “it will look much better in a few months, it will look much better in a few months” is starting to wear a bit thin, as are my reasons for wanting to be au-naturel.

Maybe I’m taking this whole natural gig a bit too far!

Do I really want to be a “proper Nana”, looking “much older” than 51 with “long unflattering gray hair” – Just a few of the nicer comments made by my family when discussing the subject of gray hair.

Friends have a bet with each other on how long this particular quest will last and I am sure CB is secretly praying the ‘crazy cat lady’ leaves quietly so that he can resume a normal life, with a normal wife.


Right now, I just want my natural gray hair to feel and look nice. It’s not a lot to ask but my goal seems light years away and today, as I look in the mirror for the hundredth time, impossible to achieve.

A multi coloured mangled hairball is not quite the style I had in mind for my 50’s, so any advice out there from [pre/post]menopausal women who have managed to go gray gracefully would be very helpful and kindly received.



Care to share! we love to hear about your experiences.


22 thoughts on “To Dye Or Not To Dye

  1. You are beautiful! I’m not coming up on menopause, but I do know that some things are just a PROCESS! In the most complicated of ways. Meditate on what you truly want, and when the answer comes to you, find peace in listening to your crown, every time you look in the mirror ❤

  2. It’s been reassuring to read your post and the comments. I’m a natural redhead and have noticed some grey strands here and there. My plan has been to let the grey happen as I’ve never colored my hair. I am glad to hear others stories and advice to continue on with my plan!

    1. You are so lucky to have not coloured your hair. I regret colouring mine, I didn’t consider the option of going gray naturally and blindly followed what most women do when the gray shows up. Best of luck with your plan Robin.

  3. You should go check out my gray on either my Facebook page or on my blog. People comment on it all the time and remember who I am because it’s so rare. Like red hair I suppose. Makes you not easy to forget. I’d say try it out. I’m so happy not to have roots to tend to. Although they are in style now I hear.

    1. Thank you I will go and check this out now. And I agree, not having to visit the hairdresser is a huge bonus. I’ve not visited a hairdresser for at least 12 months, I’ve styled/trimmed it myself. The skunk shame takes a bit getting used to but I know it will all be worth it. Hopefully this time next year the transition will be complete

  4. I’m not at the point of letting mine go yet. Right now I get the skunk streak going on and not liking it. However, sometime in my 50’s, I’ll eventually let go. But like Elena said, you’ll regret it so don’t do it. 😉

  5. Don’t do it! Trust me you will regret it if you dye it again and you will be back at step one again. I did. One thing you can do (besides the hi-lites and lo-lites already suggested) is get your salon to tone your hair where dye is still holding on. Took away my brassiness and made my hair look more mono colour. I write about transitioning on my blog a lot. Lots of women are embracing their grey. Kudos to you!

  6. Hello and thank you for calling by my blog today.. 🙂
    I see many young women now-a-days dying their hair grey.. from brunette.. and from blonde.. So Grey is in fashion..

    I am 63 this year.. and for the last few years I have been pulling out those odd greying hairs one by one..

    Only this week I looked through the mirror and saw many more in the reflection looking back.. i asked myself this very question..

    I may well end up with a Mallen streak look but I made up my mind only this week Not to dye.. 🙂

    Wishing you Happy decision making.. 🙂
    Best regards

    1. Welcome Sue & thank you for taking the time to comment. I’ve grown to sort of……quite like my Mallen streak, the rest of it is taking some getting used to. I agree with others putting my hair in a ponytail definitely helps. Great to connect with you and I look forward to reading more on your blog 😀

      1. Likewise.. 🙂 and thank you for your lovely reply.. 🙂 and its surprising as we grow with age, I have never felt more comfortable within my Skin.. 🙂 Can’t always say the same for my bones! lol… haha.. but each of us are unique 🙂 and Special.. remember that.. 🙂 ❤

  7. Gray can look hot – a great cut (doesn’t have to be short) and highlights! I was born a redhead and my hair has turned a very pale blond except for the hair at the nape of my neck which still has some of my red color. I used to have it highlighted, then I used to dye it myself (blonde) and I finally decided to let it do its thing. I wear it in a ponytail a lot (I like longer hair), and I have bangs. Bangs can be very youthful. I am 71. – my pic.

  8. OMG I feel so strongly about this: Do Not Dye! Go to a great hairdresser today, & book a funky, sassy haircut, letting them know what you’re doing & why. Do Not Dye! You can add highlights, or lowlights, but why disguise/deny who you really are: you ARE your age, you ARE peri menopausal, you ARE wise & mature & experienced. Don’t buy into the sexist Ageism which denies women the right to age gracefully, honestly, & with authenticity. Stuff that!
    My hair is silver salt & pepper, in a super cool messy bob, I’m 50, and I reckon I get a compliment almost every day from older women about my hair. Be PROUD ❤❤❤
    Is that a clear enough reply? 😃G

    1. Thank you so much for your support. It really does make a difference having the support of others & connecting with women who have the courage to define their own experiences of midlife, ageing etc. I can’t wait for the day I feel PROUD of my authenticity 😊

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